fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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