i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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