Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
