omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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