You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
