we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
