its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
