Quick, to the slutcave!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
