i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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