CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just pee around me
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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