Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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