Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
