She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
