Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I don't think brook has ever known best
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
