my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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