I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize