I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He had one of those small greek statue penises
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
