Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
