Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
