i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
