I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
