yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
then he tried to convert me to islam
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
