so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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