Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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