we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
