Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
