he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
