Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
