Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
