life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
