just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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