That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
