I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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