If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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