Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
