Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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