she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
3pm strippers are depressing
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
