Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
