You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
They took my balls.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
