I think i peed on brittanys purse
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
