And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize