Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
