lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
