i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
