At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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