somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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