turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize