I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
His nipple licking is glorious
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