VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
