he thought i was a dude.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Brb crying the tears of my youth
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize