dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
