He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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