Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i will never coherently bang her
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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