i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
