As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No subtext here. People are naked.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
