Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize