we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize