If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
