no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
