We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
