people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
