Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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