I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
