does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
It's like God shit irony all over that family
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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