btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
