loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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